1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,706 Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,940 Ok, folks. 3 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,110 Just to help you Pass the time away 4 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,879 While you're waiting For your table upstairs, 5 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:15,083 I'm going to show you A little trick that never fails 6 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,551 To leave people with Their mouths wide open. 7 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,687 I'm going to guess Your correct age 8 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,690 By asking you three Simple questions, ok? 9 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,858 Sounds like fun. 10 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,060 Good. 11 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,661 Ok. First question. 12 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,263 What year were you born? 13 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,401 You gotta be kidding. 14 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,269 Please bear with me, Will you? 15 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,740 1949. 16 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,709 1949. 17 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,711 Ok. Second question. 18 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,713 How much you weigh? 19 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:49,117 About 185 pounds. 20 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:52,320 185 pounds. 21 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,388 Ok. Third and Last question. 22 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,390 What do you do For a living? 23 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,626 I'm a carpet salesman. 24 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,028 Carpet salesman. 25 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,496 All right. 26 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,698 Ok. I should have An answer for you 27 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,200 Right after dinner. 28 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,670 After dinner? 29 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:13,974 Yeah. I didn't Realize I had to Carry a number. 30 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,144 4...6 and 7... 31 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,483 * makin' your way In the world today * 32 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,519 * takes everything you've got * 33 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,322 * takin' a break From all your worries * 34 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,625 * sure would help a lot * 35 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,662 * wouldn't you Like to get away? * 36 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,633 * sometimes You wanna go * 37 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,271 * where everybody Knows your name * 38 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,309 * and they're always Glad you came * 39 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,146 * you wanna be Where you can see * 40 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,582 * our troubles Are all the same * 41 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:59,119 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 42 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,523 * you wanna go Where people know * 43 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,992 * people are all the same * 44 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:09,530 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 45 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,286 Good afternoon, everybody. 46 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,021 [all] Norm! 47 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,689 Hey, normy, What would you like? 48 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,426 You got anything Pale and cold? 49 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:41,395 Yeah, but it's Diane's day off. 50 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,365 I'll have a beer, Then, I guess. 51 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,201 You're looking a little Glum, there, buddy. You got a problem? 52 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,338 Yeah. New boss Just chewed me out. 53 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:53,307 Says I lack enthusiasm. 54 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,709 Well, is that true? 55 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:59,179 I don't know. Maybe. I guess. Who cares? 56 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,550 Well, here it is, Dr. Ludlow. 57 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,718 Remember, It was diane's idea To expose you 58 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,487 To boston's Seamy underbelly. 59 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,622 Oh, frasier, come on. 60 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:12,025 Dr. Ludlow will enjoy a Little quaint boston pub. 61 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,263 I wonder who The guy is with Frasier and diane. 62 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:17,798 Talent scout For a geek show. 63 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,235 I do wish that I'd worn A heavier overcoat. 64 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,371 I had no idea it would be So chilly up here. 65 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,172 Yes. I apologize For that. 66 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,174 You're apologizing For the weather? 67 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:30,278 Well, yes, and also The fact that I've had This toasty garment 68 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:31,545 While you've Been chilled. 69 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,647 Why don't you wear it On the way home? 70 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,483 Well, we're not exactly The same size, frasier. 71 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,717 Right. I'm sorry. 72 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,252 And you don't need To keep apologizing! 73 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,854 That's all right, sir. I don't mind. 74 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,055 Frasier. 75 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,792 I'm sorry. It's just that I turn to jelly 76 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,495 When I'm in the presence Of with my mentor, Dr. Bennett ludlow. 77 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,963 Frasier, This attitude of yours Was perfectly all right 78 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:54,167 When you were In my graduate program, But we are peers now. 79 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,271 Did you hear that, Diane? Peers. 80 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,139 Ludlow, get us Some brandies! 81 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,941 No, no. I'm just kidding. 82 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,111 I'll get them. Diane, could you Give me a hand? 83 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,246 Certainly. Excuse me. 84 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,751 You noticed, Didn't you? 85 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,387 Of course I noticed. What are we going to Do about it? 86 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,389 The only thing we Can do--ignore it. 87 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:18,025 Ignore it? That's Like telling me 88 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,093 To ignore your fly Being open. 89 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,663 Yes. Very good point. 90 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,466 It, uh... It isn't, is it? 91 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,871 What seems to be the Problem here, folks? 92 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:34,241 Sam, my colleague has dropped A crumb during dinner. 93 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,776 And in the intervening hours, 94 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,811 It has become Encrusted on his tie. 95 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,113 So what? You could Take norm's tie here, 96 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,816 Put it in a kettle, And make soup. 97 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,785 Incidentally, it's A little-known fact 98 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,787 That the tie was invented In ancient times 99 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,956 To be used as a bib-- You know, wipe your chin. 100 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,759 You mean they're thinking Of changing that? 101 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,096 Why don't you just Tell the guy that He's got a spot? 102 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,565 Gee, that's an idea. 103 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,367 Why didn't we just come to Sam in the first place? 104 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,536 Sam, you just don't say, "There's a spot on your tie," 105 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,072 To a man the stature Of dr. Bennett ludlow. 106 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,074 The bennett ludlow? 107 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,176 You've heard Of him, coach? 108 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,744 No. 109 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,650 Coach, he's only one of The true giants of psychiatry. 110 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,719 Author, innovator, educator, 111 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,321 And I'm not ashamed to say, My idol and inspiration. 112 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,892 All right. You lean Over, pretend you're Admiring his tie tack, 113 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:28,128 Then you just nibble the Morsel off real quick. 114 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,530 Who's the wiser? 115 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,700 Sam is right. We have to tell him. 116 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,934 Of course you're right. 117 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,670 Sam, may we have Three brandies, please? 118 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,672 And I guess I'm the one Who should tell him. 119 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,741 After all, I'm the one who Suggested beef wellington. 120 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,242 Beef wellington, You say? 121 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,145 Where's that tie? Show me. 122 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:49,983 I just have to find A way to tell him in a Subtle and tactful way 123 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,352 That will allow him To preserve his dignity. 124 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,591 Hey, pigpen! What's that thing? 125 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,927 What, are you trying To catch pigeons? 126 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,062 Ooh! 127 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,564 Thank you very much. 128 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:07,367 Don't mention it. I like a man who wears His dinner with pride. 129 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,572 Here we are. 130 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,874 Sir, in spite Of the fact 131 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,343 That it may cause You some personal Embarrassment, 132 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,145 I have to tell you You have a spot-- 133 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,749 In my heart. 134 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,651 Always have, Always will. 135 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,653 Thank you. Thank you Very much, frasier. 136 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:28,822 You'll excuse me. I've got A telephone call to make. 137 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:36,497 Believe me, I am not the sort of man 138 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:39,933 Who approaches young, Unfamiliar ladies in a bar 139 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:43,871 And tries to become More familiar by the use Of some smooth line. 140 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:46,707 Your secret Is safe with me. 141 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,109 Pardon me. Pardon me For saying this, 142 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:53,747 But there's something About you that is so... Strikingly attractive. 143 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,649 While you're Staring at my zoomers, 144 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,619 Let's see if we can Figure out what that is. 145 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,490 Uh, what would it take To get your telephone number? 146 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,357 A phone book. 147 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:05,993 Would you tell me Your name, 148 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:10,097 Or shall I just check In the yellow pages Under "Hot babe"? 149 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,001 The name is Carla tortelli, 150 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,937 And, uh... I'm starting To like you. 151 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,313 Say, norm? 152 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,548 Uh, yeah, cliff? 153 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,784 You seem to have a spot There on your tie. 154 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,521 Oh, so I do, So I do. 155 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,222 Thank you, cliffie, For pointing that out. 156 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,625 If more people Were as conscientious As you are, 157 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,292 I think We could wipe out 158 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,994 Social embarrassment In our time. 159 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,396 Well... Don't thank me, norm. 160 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,533 Periodic tie checks Are the duty 161 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,668 Of every American citizen. 162 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,806 Did he look At his tie? 163 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,607 No. 164 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,242 So much For subtlety. 165 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,211 All right. You just start a Fire for diversion, 166 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,714 And I'll Hose him down. 167 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,217 Boy, Am I exhausted! 168 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,318 Not much sleep, Huh? 169 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,220 No, normy. I slept like a baby. 170 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:11,491 It's just that I dreamed I had insomnia all night. 171 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:18,265 You know, someday, that man's Head is going to open up, 172 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,668 And a prize will pop out. 173 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,404 Hi, everybody! 174 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,673 Oh, hey, carla, 175 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,575 I got some flowers Here for you. 176 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,942 Ooh, for me? 177 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,611 Yeah. Very cute, carla. 178 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,847 You've gotten flowers Every day for The last two weeks. 179 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,182 Ah! Mmm! 180 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,185 Yeah. I guess I Ought to be feeling A little guilty. 181 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,187 I mean, I'm getting All these flowers, 182 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,556 And there are bees Going to bed hungry. 183 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,891 Yeah. 184 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,793 We're kind of Curious here. 185 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,895 Who's Your secret admirer? 186 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,434 None of Your damn business. 187 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,203 Thank you, carla. 188 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,506 Sam. 189 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,609 So what did she say? 190 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,777 "None of Your damn business." 191 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,614 Well, excuse me For living. 192 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:09,249 What if I said that to you 193 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:13,186 When you asked me to show you How to throw a knuckle ball? 194 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,588 You did. 195 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,289 Oh, so we're even. 196 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,594 Oh, frasier, You're early. 197 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,197 Is something wrong? 198 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,099 Well, of course Something's wrong. 199 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,401 Dr. Ludlow canceled out On us again. 200 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,137 Surprise, surprise. 201 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,673 What excuse did he Give this time? 202 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,241 Something came up. 203 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,509 Something's been Coming up every night 204 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,779 For the last two months. 205 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,881 Well, frasier... 206 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:45,252 Maybe we just have To admit that he doesn't Want to see us socially. 207 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,621 Well, yes, I guess we've been Trying too hard. 208 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,889 We've been Too eager. 209 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,992 Sam, can I get a beer Or something, please? 210 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,627 Especially That first night 211 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,596 When we made such Buffoons of ourselves. 212 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,431 We, frasier? 213 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,300 All right. You. 214 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,570 Me? 215 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,640 Yes. The way you fawned Over him was nothing Less than criminal. 216 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,175 If you had taken off Your clothes 217 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,877 And writhed on the floor In front of him, 218 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,946 It would have been A refreshing note Of subtlety. 219 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,115 No wonder the man's Been shunning us. 220 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,285 Frasier, you were So obsequious, 221 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,154 If he had asked you To cluck like a chicken And lay an egg, 222 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,824 You would have squatted And asked, "What color?" 223 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,693 Well, he didn't Ask me to, 224 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:28,595 So it's a moot point At best, diane. 225 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,430 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 226 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,834 Diane, while I'm Thinking about it, I need tonight off. 227 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,302 Could you Switch with me? 228 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,870 Uh, well... 229 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,106 Why not? There's nothing Going on in our lives. 230 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:42,142 That'll be fine, carla. You're in luck again. 231 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,544 I seems every time you Want to trade nights 232 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,546 With me, my plans Get canceled. 233 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,816 Yeah. Go figure. 234 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,151 Hey, diane. 235 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,152 Psst! 236 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,122 You know, I've been thinking. 237 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:57,324 Have you? 238 00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:02,029 The odds makers Take a beating again. 239 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:05,899 Listen, listen. Is it possible that This ludlow fellow 240 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,500 Hasn't been seeing The two of you 241 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,903 Because he's been Spending time all His time with carla? 242 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,039 Yes, sam. Either that, 243 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:15,208 Or he had finish His paper route on mars. 244 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,543 [diane laughs] 245 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,747 I'm sorry, sam, that you had To feel the sting of my wit, 246 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,281 But it's A ludicrous question. 247 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,315 Now, wait a minute. 248 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,385 There are two mysteries Going on here. 249 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:29,322 First, carla's been Seeing this obviously Very classy guy, 250 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:33,126 And second, your pal has Been avoiding the two Of you like the plague. 251 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:36,363 Of course, That's the lesser Of the two mysteries. 252 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,336 Sam, you're talking about One of the most distinguished 253 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,605 And accomplished Men of letters I know 254 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,574 Dating a common barmaid. 255 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,809 You're dating a barmaid. 256 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,343 She wasn't a barmaid When I met her. 257 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,080 Oh, that's right. She was a lunatic. 258 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,117 It's true, coach. 259 00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,888 Many scientists believe That the little finger-- 260 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,956 That's the pinky, In the legerdemain-- 261 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,125 Will one day, Like the tail, disappear 262 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,127 Because it serves No useful purpose. 263 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,662 Well, people Couldn't go swimming 264 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,364 Without Their little finger. 265 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:15,535 Why do you need A little finger To swim, coach? 266 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,037 You come out Of the water, 267 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,372 You can't do this. 268 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,142 I stand Corrected. 269 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,578 Sam, may I speak To you for a moment? 270 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,381 Ok, ok. A cute Lunatic, all right? 271 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:33,753 Frasier is in a very Fragile state of mind. 272 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,923 Your asinine theories, 273 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,960 While suitable fodder For inane bar conversation, 274 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,629 Do nothing to ease His fit of pique. 275 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,999 Wait a minute, Here. The one word I Understood in that, 276 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,035 I don't Exactly care for. 277 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:50,270 My theory Is not asinine. 278 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,806 You're right. It's a lot worse. 279 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,475 Think of the two Of them together. 280 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,045 Bennett ludlow and carla? 281 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,380 It's harebrained! 282 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,282 Just imagine it. 283 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,884 Well, you don't Have to imagine it. 284 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,618 There it is now. Have you ever seen-- 285 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,220 Aah! 286 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,621 No, I guess I haven't. 287 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,390 Diane, what's-- 288 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,192 Aah! 289 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,838 You know, benny here May look like a stiff, 290 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,375 But he's really out For a good time. 291 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,846 I was drawn to carla Right from the start. 292 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:37,084 There's something so sensual, Something so earthy about her. 293 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,519 By the way, Didn't any of you Suspect anything? 294 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,455 No, no. I think you would've Had to be a real brain 295 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,257 To figure this one out, Don't you think, frasier? 296 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,929 How come you kept this Relationship such a secret? 297 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,999 That's the way Me and big ben Wanted it. 298 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,867 Our backgrounds are A little different, 299 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,302 Which is A slight problem. 300 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,471 Word starts Getting around You're seeing a guy 301 00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:01,274 Who tucks his T-shirt in his Undershorts, 302 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,411 And your reputation Is shot to hell. 303 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,480 And I had similar reasons To be discreet. 304 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,783 Yeah. Well, cat's Out of the bag now. 305 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,352 Well, excuse me, Benny. 306 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,988 I have to Go see my customers. 307 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,389 I think this occasion Calls for somebody 308 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,891 To buy the house A round of drinks! 309 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,192 Well, I'll do that! 310 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,362 You beat me to it. I got the next one. 311 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,364 Diane... 312 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,532 Excuse us. 313 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:30,003 Now that I'm going to be Running in egghead circles, 314 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,306 Looks like you and I are Going to be bumping into Each other at parties, 315 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,609 You with your boyfriend And me with my boyfriend-- 316 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,545 His hero. 317 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:44,217 Ok. I think I've Come to terms with this. 318 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:49,089 Dr. Ludlow, you came here More or less on vacation. 319 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:52,459 You've had your walk On the wild side. 320 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,728 Now you can return To your proper sphere, 321 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,897 Refreshed And a better man for it. 322 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,568 Frankly, frasier, it's a bit More complicated than that. 323 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,171 I'm going to take A short trip out of town, 324 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,805 And when I come back, 325 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,076 I think I'm going to ask Ms. Tortelli to marry me. 326 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,144 How wonderful. 327 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,854 Damn it, sam. Where is she? 328 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,224 Dr. Ludlow, I don't know. She's almost never late. 329 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,692 Coach, Did carla call? 330 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:26,726 Yeah, she did. 331 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,794 What did she say? 332 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,063 None of Your damn business. 333 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,733 How's Your knuckle ball? 334 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,070 Come on, coach. We've been Over this again and again. 335 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,638 Give me a break, will you? 336 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,743 Dr. Ludlow. 337 00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,013 We're all so happy That carla's getting 338 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,780 The first break Of her life. 339 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,316 Hear, hear. 340 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,250 Thank you. 341 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,884 All this talk About romance 342 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,287 Gives me a warm spot Right here, 343 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,957 Or was it that Meal I had at the Hungry heifer? 344 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,792 Yes, yes, yes. I went back 345 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,494 For their special Chicken dinner. 346 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,495 What was it? 347 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:06,199 Bowl of pellets and A handful of grain. 348 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,168 Well, Here she is! 349 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,305 What's going on? 350 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,241 Dr. Ludlow has Something he wants 351 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,243 To talk to you About, carla. 352 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,218 Of course, I had Not expected this 353 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,619 To be a spectator sport. 354 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,256 Perhaps you'd like to Step over here. 355 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,699 Benny, is this What I think it is? 356 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,134 Yes, carla. 357 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,270 I want you To marry me. 358 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,107 Wow, what a day. 359 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,242 Well, will you? 360 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,347 I guess I'd be crazy To say no. 361 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,216 Champagne, please, For everybody. 362 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,385 Oh! All right! 363 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:01,954 Yeah! 364 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,690 [sam] Way to go, doc. 365 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,791 Just great. 366 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,393 Thank you, Thank you. 367 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,760 It happened Right here! 368 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,961 Congratulations, doc. 369 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,463 Thank you, Thank you. 370 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,964 Champagne For everybody. 371 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,300 Coming up, coming up. 372 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,768 [cliff] Come on, pay this window. 373 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,470 Good one. 374 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,041 Carla? 375 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,943 I couldn't Help noticing 376 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,679 You're not exactly Leaping for joy. 377 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:31,184 Bennett ludlow Is a wonderful catch. 378 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,719 Yeah, well... 379 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,722 There's some things He doesn't know About me. 380 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,625 Well, a little mystery Is good for a marriage. 381 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,693 What haven't you Told him? 382 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:45,265 Well, I haven't been Completely honest About my kids. 383 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,168 What haven't you Told him about your kids? 384 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,503 That they live. 385 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,906 He doesn't know You have children? 386 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,242 Shh, shh! 387 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,277 Carla, I think you'd Better tell him. 388 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,711 He's going to wonder 389 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,680 Who those little people are Running around your place. 390 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,716 I was hoping he'd be Too polite to ask. 391 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,186 I didn't want to Scare him off. 392 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,922 Well, I think it's only fair That you tell him immediately 393 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,791 You have five children. 394 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,025 Six. 395 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,695 Ok, six, but don't Wait. If you-- 396 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,197 I thought it was five. 397 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:20,633 It was. I just came From the doctor's. 398 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,969 Uhh! 399 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,972 Oh, carla! 400 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,974 When you were In high school 401 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:31,578 And you took hygiene... 402 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,447 Did you cut The "How not to" lecture? 403 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,817 I had to. I was pregnant. 404 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:41,020 I tell you, I'm the Most fertile woman That ever lived. 405 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,422 For me, There's only one 406 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,557 Absolutely foolproof Method of birth control, 407 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,859 And it makes me Sick to my stomach. 408 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,161 What's that? 409 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,330 Saying no. 410 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,931 Carla, are you all right? 411 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,835 Uh...I'll just go Celebrate with the others. 412 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,937 We're like a big family Here at cheers. 413 00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,540 You know what they say About a big family-- More to love. 414 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,210 I always say, if you want To be in a big family-- 415 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,577 Beat it! 416 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,712 Bye. 417 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,450 Carla, my proposal Was not exactly met 418 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,585 With the enthusiasm That I expected, 419 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,721 And it suddenly Occurred to me 420 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,156 That I never heard The word yes. 421 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,392 Yeah, I know. Um... 422 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,695 Benny, I got to Tell you some Things about myself. 423 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,163 Would you sit down For a minute? 424 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,799 Oh? Oh. This Sounds serious. 425 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:27,967 It is, it is. 426 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,469 Uh... 427 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,374 Have you seen The brady bunch? 428 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,678 Yes, I think so. 429 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,648 Well, picture them With knives. 430 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,219 I don't understand. 431 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,420 Oh... 432 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,622 I have five kids. 433 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,859 Five? 434 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,396 Well...Five and counting. 435 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,732 You're going to be a daddy. 436 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,804 This is quite a day. 437 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,708 You now have my permission To withdraw your proposal. 438 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,111 Do you want me to Withdraw my proposal? 439 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,647 I want you to do What you want. 440 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,853 I want you To marry me. 441 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,391 You're kidding! 442 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,728 Wow, what class! 443 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,864 I still haven't heard The word yes. 444 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,902 I know. 445 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,237 Why do you think that is? 446 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:42,041 I think that if you Look into your feelings, 447 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,643 You'll know. 448 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,912 Oh, yeah? 449 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,487 Yeah. 450 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:57,390 Yeah, I think I do. 451 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,761 I'm in love With someone else. 452 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,763 Who is it, carla? 453 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,066 I don't know his name. 454 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,701 I never Even met him yet, 455 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:12,071 But I've had this Really clear picture Of him in my mind 456 00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,906 For what seems Like forever. 457 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,976 He is going to walk Into this bar one night. 458 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:21,113 Well, not walk, really. More like swagger. 459 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,783 You know? Confident, But not cocky. 460 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:29,055 He's ok-looking, But he's no pretty boy. 461 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,024 He's a swell dresser. 462 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:37,864 He's got on this Burgundy leather jacket. 463 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,700 He's got cherry Lifesavers in one pocket 464 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,570 And a pack of camels In the other. 465 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:47,840 He's trying to quit Them both, but he can't. 466 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,376 His nose... 467 00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:53,012 Is broken in all The right places. 468 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:57,316 And he's got this Scar on his chin that He won't talk about. 469 00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,052 He cracks his knuckles All the time. 470 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,253 Drives me up a wall, 471 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,656 But what are you Gonna do? 472 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,495 Doesn't talk much. Doesn't have to. 473 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,830 He falls for me... 474 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,164 Hard. 475 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,634 I hurt him a few times. 476 00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:18,971 He gets over it. We get married. 477 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,311 So, uh... 478 00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:28,415 You see, it would be A little messy 479 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:31,183 If I was Already married When he got here. 480 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,955 You know, carla, I sort of Have a dream girl myself. 481 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,624 Ooh! 482 00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:40,192 Oh, tell me About her. 483 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:45,732 Well, she's a spunky, Hearty, curly-haired Little spitfire 484 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:48,968 Who doesn't know what's Really good for her. 485 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:56,308 I hope you Find her someday. 486 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:58,077 Me, too. 487 00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:01,748 By the way, 488 00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:04,484 I intend to take care Of that child financially. 489 00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:07,854 You bet your buns You will, benny baby. 490 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:29,609 You ok? 491 00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:32,111 Hey, would you Knock it off? 492 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,482 Ok! 493 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:37,750 Ok. You're all going To know eventually, 494 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,952 So you might as well Know now. 495 00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:43,856 I turned benny down, And I'm pregnant again. 496 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,792 So in case Your math is bad, 497 00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:49,195 That makes six, Count them, six kids 498 00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:50,897 For an unmarried woman. 499 00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:53,265 I don't want your Sappy looks. I don't Want your charity. 500 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,934 I don't want Your sympathy. 501 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,036 As a matter of fact, I don't want to talk About this anymore. 502 00:23:57,036 --> 00:24:00,507 I just want to be Left alone to live My life. Got it? 503 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,141 Got it. 504 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:17,023 What are you people Made of, stone? 505 00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:18,825 Aw! Carla! Oh!